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This is an oldie. Probably not very PC these days.
There were three guys in a boat. They had four cigarettes and no matches. How'd they light their cigarettes?
They threw one cigarette overboard and made the boat a cigarette lighter.
Ba-da-bum-bum.
What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead divorce lawyer in the road?
Skid marks before the skunk.
Yesterday a girl said she recognised me from Vegetarian Club... but I'm pretty sure I've never met herbivore.
Slept like a log last night...
...woke up in a fireplace.
There was a fire at the circus yesterday.
It was in tents.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
My wife, she's so fat. When she's standing at the bus stop the cops come around and say, "Alright guys, break it up."
Why did Tim Tebow cross the road?
Because his dong was stuck in the chicken.
Two ' Necks from the Burg go ice fishing for the first time. Bubba sees a snowmobile scooting across the lake and says, Hey Virgil, we should be doing that. What's that Bubba?
Trolling.
Quote:My wife, she's so fat. When she's standing at the bus stop the cops come around and say, "Alright guys, break it up."
Got on a talking scale and scale says...hey...one at a time
Yo mama is so fat her belt size is "Equator."
... when she goes to a restaurant and gets handed a menu she just replies "yes!"
they take her photograph with a satellite.
When she dances, the band skips
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer; it never gets old.
You sister is so fat, when she hauls [BLEEP] it takes two trips!
She's so fat when she wears a Malcolm X shirt helicopters try to land on her.
Hindu man say he can't comment on your mom because cows are sacred in his country.
What's blue, orange and rests at the bottom of a swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
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