Quote:Hmmm, is this a compliment or insult?... .gif "Laughing")
LOL. Probably a bit of both.
Quote:The funny thing is....if this was Caldrac, we'd question NOTHING, lol....
There ain't many posters like him! :thumbsup:
Oh, ok. I see what you are saying there. I agree.
If thats what jagibelieve meant, then I apologize. I thought jagibelieve was just meaning because he posted here looking for advice, then he automatically is a nutjob and needs professional help.
THats the one aspect that seems odd.
I know if that was me in his shoes...I'd be taking it a lot harder than he seems to be. I mean were talking a long term marriage here that just went kaplooey and I had assumed up until the very point when she started cheating that he was in love with her. Is there a possibility that maybe he wasn't in love with her anymore by that point?? Because thats one of the few ways that I could see him getting over it so quickly/ taking it so well.
Especially with a child involved. Racing out to find a new partner before you've dealt with the current situation completely doesn't show the kind of stability that is needed for the kid at this point.
Quote:Just got to be to the point and don't sugar coat anything. It's how I roll. :thumbsup:
Then doubt be surprised to be called a jerk! Lol
You can get to the point without sounding mean. I'm not saying that's what you at all...it's just that you can be "honest" without being "brutally honest". :thumbsup:
Quote:Especially with a child involved. Racing out to find a new partner before you've dealt with the current situation completely doesn't show the kind of stability that is needed for the kid at this point.
He's dating, she's dating...they seem wrapped up in their new lives already. Makes me worry about that poor little boy left at home.
Quote:Then doubt be surprised to be called a jerk! Lol
You can get to the point without sounding mean. I'm not saying that's what you at all...it's just that you can be "honest" without being "brutally honest". :thumbsup:
That's too "wussy" for me. Most of the time, "brutally honest" does the best good. :thumbsup:
Quote:That's too "wussy" for me. Most of the time, "brutally honest" does the best good. :thumbsup:
Agreed. Sometimes it's not taken well, but in most instances, brutal honesty is appreciated at some point. Better to be honest to a fault than to candy coat things.
Quote:That's too "wussy" for me. Most of the time, "brutally honest" does the best good. :thumbsup:
Quote:Agreed. Sometimes it's not taken well, but in most instances, brutal honesty is appreciated at some point.
You CAN be honest without being mean and still get the point across, you know! :yes:
Quote:Especially with a child involved. Racing out to find a new partner before you've dealt with the current situation completely doesn't show the kind of stability that is needed for the kid at this point.
Yes, the child is the one that should be most important to both parties.
The woman has also seemed to clearly neglect the childs needs and is all about herself and having fun right now. Its going to be harder on him as the one on the [BAD WORD REMOVED] end of this breakup because he still has to deal with his own well being in getting through this as well as still be a grown up mature, parent to the child and take care of the kids needs too.
Quote:Then doubt be surprised to be called a jerk! Lol
You can get to the point without sounding mean. I'm not saying that's what you at all...it's just that you can be "honest" without being "brutally honest". :thumbsup:
You are correct. You can. Its about having some dignity, class & tact.
Many people nowadays seem to think that you can't be honest without being brutally honest/ tactless. They dont' understand that the 2 aren't mutually exclusive. (or is that are??) lol
Quote:Yes, the child is the one that should be most important to both parties.
The woman has also seemed to clearly neglect the childs needs and is all about herself and having fun right now. Its going to be harder on him as the one on the [BAD WORD REMOVED] end of this breakup because he still has to deal with his own well being in getting through this as well as still be a grown up mature, parent to the child and take care of the kids needs too.
Well...to be fair, we are getting only one side of the story. Very few people tell a story in which they themselves look bad.
Quote:Well...to be fair, we are getting only one side of the story. Very few people tell a story in which they themselves look bad.
I've heard this a lot.
Thats a foreign concept to me...because I have always tried to be totally honest when explaining situations like my "breakups" for instance to my friends...I wouldn't try to paint myself as an angel or completely blameless - I'd try to give examples of possible areas that I could have been at fault as well.
Quote:I've heard this a lot.
Thats a foreign concept to me...because I have always tried to be totally honest when explaining situations like my "breakups" for instance to my friends...I wouldn't try to paint myself as an angel or completely blameless - I'd try to give examples of possible areas that I could have been at fault as well.
That's kind of relative and pointless. The OP told us his story, but what about the wife's account? I'm sure there would be a different picture painted (if this story is even true).
Quote:That's kind of relative and pointless. The OP told us his story, but what about the wife's account? I'm sure there would be a different picture painted (if this story is even true).
I was speaking more inwardly and personal experience about the comment she (Bunnie) made, than about his situation. Bunnie is right in that context that she stated. None of us know him, well except for Sammy, allegedly.
I'd love to hear the wife's account of all this, actually...
Chances of us ever seeing that?? BBBBZZZZZZZZTTTTT!!!!!!! Zilch.
*sigh* I really don't care anymore.
Quote:Well...to be fair, we are getting only one side of the story. Very few people tell a story in which they themselves look bad.
Again one thing about me is I'm 100% honest. it's simple, she kissed a girl and she liked it. And now she's a lesbian. We don't leave the kid at home either. It's all pre-arranged where it's mutually beneficial.
Quote:Again one thing about me is I'm 100% honest. it's simple, she kissed a girl and she liked it. And now she's a lesbian. We don't leave the kid at home either. It's all pre-arranged where it's mutually beneficial.
Your life is all over the place right now. It's like you're in the middle of the ocean with no one around and you're looking to grab onto a lifesaver. You're just wanting something on someone to hang onto.
You're in no place to be dating online or otherwise. You're not even divorced yet. Believe me when I say this. You need to relax, get divorced, adjust to life after divorce, and start to move forward. Focus on your child. Become a single parent. Digest your loss. Then, after all of that, start looking to live life beyond divorce. You're rushing everything and trying to get past your heartache in a matter of weeks. It's ludicrous. You're not ready to move on but you trick yourself into thinking you are.
How do I know? Because I've been there. I thought I was over my ex four months after we were divorced. I was flat out wrong. It took me over two years to truly get past what I had been through. That was ten years ago and now I can look back and truly see that it took a good two years to get over my divorce.
Stop trying to avoid your pain by trying to moving past it too quickly. Take it head on, absorb it. It'll be more painful but it'll help you get though it more quickly. You shouldn't be dating online or in any other fashion for that matter. Be a dad. Be a man.
You won't like this post but two years from now, you'll read it and say wow, he was right. Hendershot's a frickin' genius.
Quote:He's dating, she's dating...they seem wrapped up in their new lives already. Makes me worry about that poor little boy left at home.
You can't be selfish if you're a parent, and if they're both out there dating while still married, that's exactly what they are, and the victim will end up being the child. I have seen this more than once with marriages that are falling apart. It never ends well for the kids.
Quote:Again one thing about me is I'm 100% honest. it's simple, she kissed a girl and she liked it. And now she's a lesbian. We don't leave the kid at home either. It's all pre-arranged where it's mutually beneficial.
I'm a mom...my instinct ALWAYS goes to the kid.
Quote:I'm a mom...my instinct ALWAYS goes to the kid.
That instinct isn't restircited to moms, nor do all moms have that instinct.
Quote:That instinct isn't restircited to moms, nor do all moms have that instinct.
That would be the "my" part. :thumbsup: