Quote:TMD I think this may have been your best post ever. What do you know about "The Juice"?!
BigJag, I think you have to move on. She obviously doesn't want to make it work and you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. Hit her were it hurts (the purse), hire a good lawyer and don't look back. If she's willing to walk away from it all for some "fling" then she didn't really want to be there from the start.
Just playing Devil's advocate here, but these two sound pretty young. BigJag said it himself that they've been together since high school. She may just be confused at a certain point in her own individual growth and as such, she's regressed into a more selfish, immature attitude. It happens. Usually it happens in concert with another area that is lacking in the marriage (i.e. intimacy, excitement, communication, etc.).
My .02 stands firm. See a counselor ASAP, then make your decision(s). If she came clean and was open & honest with you about how she's feeling, you're at a crossroads. Best not to assume and hold onto blame, especially when there are children involved. Like I said, just my input. Best of luck, buddy. It'll get better from here.
Quote:Just playing Devil's advocate here, but these two sound pretty young. BigJag said it himself that they've been together since high school. She may just be confused at a certain point in her own individual growth and as such, she's regressed into a more selfish, immature attitude. It happens. Usually it happens in concert with another area that is lacking in the marriage (i.e. intimacy, excitement, communication, etc.).
My .02 stands firm. See a counselor ASAP, then make your decision(s). If she came clean and was open & honest with you about how she's feeling, you're at a crossroads. Best not to assume and hold onto blame, especially when there are children involved. Like I said, just my input. Best of luck, buddy. It'll get better from here.
They've already separated twice before this and now she's interested in someone else. It doesn't look good.
How young can they be? They have a 10 year old.
I would not tolerate infidelity. That is just my opinion.
Quote:They've already separated twice before this and now she's interested in someone else. It doesn't look good.
Must've skipped past that part. In that case, I'm in agreement with the majority that turn your feelings into something positive and be there for your child. Let her deal with the regret that will eventually come.
Quote:How young can they be? They have a 10 year old.
I would not tolerate infidelity. That is just my opinion.
They adopted him...he could have been an older child.
Did you people not read the whole thing?? Lol
Quote:They adopted him...he could have been an older child.
Did you people not read the whole thing?? Lol
I was assuming they adopted as a baby. Either way, what is young? If you are at least into your mid-late 20s, I don't think there is any excuse to blame infidelity on immaturity.
My advice would be - don't listen to any advice!
None of us have been in your shoes because we are not you. Sorry to say it, but you're on your own here. But then again, aren't we all.
Gabe is right on re the talking to some one, by whatever title you want to give them - therapist, counselor, etc. But I suspect you already know that.
Same with the legal advice. Just talk to someone about options - it will give you time to think. That's what you need most - time to think.
And one last thing, which kind of ties in to the legal advice. Child custody can get weird. Find out as much as you can about the process in your state and give some thought about how you would handle things if she gets custody. Don't assume it's a sure thing that you'll get custody.
You may be a long way from some of this, but give it all some consideration, you know, in your spare time.
And remember, no one else can speak or think for you. Do what you think is best so you can live with yourself down the road.
Quote:I was assuming they adopted as a baby. Either way, what is young? If you are at least into your mid-late 20s, I don't think there is any excuse to blame infidelity on immaturity.
He said in the post that he was 30 so she can't be very much younger since they were high school sweethearts.
I wasn't saying that age had anything to do with it btw...
Quote:He said in the post that he was 30 so she can't be very much younger since they were high school sweethearts.
Ok, that is my point. They aren't "young". She knew exactly what she was doing.
Quote:Ok, that is my point. They aren't "young". She knew exactly what she was doing.
Exactly. She's not happy and trying to find her "happy" and it doesn't seem like she's trying to find it with her husband and son.
Has this woman ever, in any fashion, whether through conversation or action shown any curiosity or interest in a same sex relationship? If not I would have to probably question the whole it's a woman thing. Did you meet this woman? She might have thought that in some way that would lessen the blow if the infidelity was not with a man.
I hope things work out as you would have them, you sound like a stand up dude and don't deserve any of this crap.
Quote:Has this woman ever, in any fashion, whether through conversation or action shown any curiosity or interest in a same sex relationship? If not I would have to probably question the whole it's a woman thing. Did you meet this woman? She might have thought that in some way that would lessen the blow if the infidelity was not with a man.
I hope things work out as you would have them, you sound like a stand up dude and don't deserve any of this crap.
Men! Sheesh!! Why would it being a woman make it hurt less than a man? Cheating is cheating no matter how exciting those type of pron movies are!!
Quote:Men! Sheesh!! Why would it being a woman make it hurt less than a man? Cheating is cheating no matter how exciting those type of pron movies are!!
Possibility of a threesome...............duh.
Quote:Possibility of a threesome...............duh.
Bet that threesome isn't so exciting to you if there are two sets of franks and beans involved, huh?
Quote:Bet that threesome isn't so exciting to you if there are two sets of franks and beans involved, huh?
Again................................duh.
Quote:Again................................duh.
It's a threesome! :thumbsup:
Quote:Men! Sheesh!! Why would it being a woman make it hurt less than a man? Cheating is cheating no matter how exciting those type of pron movies are!!
I 100% agree with this point!!
I cannot see how "just because she cheated with a
woman" that it makes it any less hurt or any less of a crime than if she cheated with a man.
But bunnie4....I wouldn't bash "
men" for that mindset, when the first time (and most times) I ever heard someone say "its not cheating if a woman has sex with a female outside of a male/ female relationship" - that was a
woman who was saying those words.
People have been brainwashed.
Quote:Bet that threesome isn't so exciting to you if there are two sets of franks and beans involved, huh?
Just to answer that question?? I wouldn't even begin to consider a 3 some with another dude involved, lol. I know what I like and it ain't that!!
But then again, I'm also the type that once I'm in love with one woman, I also don't feel the need to bring
another (woman) into the relationship,....If either side feels the need to bring someone else in, that tells me theres already something wrong with the relationship, IMO.
Just like you said up there in post 172.... "blue" movies as they're also called, have filled people with all these ideas about how "exciting" all this other sex can be (threesomes and more), but all it seems to have done is helped make it harder for the traditional relationship to work. Healthy relationships are supposed to be about the 2 people directly involved. There shouldn't be a need to bring a 3rd in, if there are no issues within the relationship. IMO stuff like 3-somes and whatever else, are stuff you get out of your system before getting involved in a meaningful relationship stage.
Quote:I 100% agree with this point!!
I cannot see how "just because she cheated with a woman" that it makes it any less hurt or any less of a crime than if she cheated with a man.
But bunnie4....I wouldn't bash "men" for that mindset, when the first time (and most times) I ever heard someone say "its not cheating if a woman has sex with a female outside of a male/ female relationship" - that was a woman who was saying those words.
People have been brainwashed.
That's just because woman know what turns men on... :thumbsup:
Quote:That's just because woman know what turns men on... :thumbsup:
Well, I'm not going to dispute that, however, in the context that I heard the women using that line was not said because they were trying to turn anyone else on, but using it as an excuse for their cheating. They pretty much saw it as a "sex loophole" in their minds.
I agreed with your initial comment - being that sex is sex and its still cheating even if its with another woman.