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So....any updates?

It ended violently

 

On a side note... I've been married for 6 years.  I've always been of the opinion that once you get married, the going out regularly with friends stops.  You take your wife or husband with you to hang out.  Guys/girls night out should not be a regular thing.

Quote:It ended violently

 

On a side note... I've been married for 6 years.  I've always been of the opinion that once you get married, the going out regularly with friends stops.  You take your wife or husband with you to hang out.  Guys/girls night out should not be a regular thing.

 

that's how we approach it, sure every once in a while one of us goes out but it's usually a scheduled thing the other knows about in advance, who we're with and when we will be home.

 

For example I might go fishing or shooting with my brother in law or she might go to a bingo night or movie with her mom and aunts.

I guess it depends. I think it is extremely healthy for you and your significant other to have a girls night or guys night. For example, going out this weekend to Ginnie Springs for a guys trip. Obviously this happens a lot less than before, but it isn't necessary for husband and wife to be joined at the hip for everything and honestly it probably isn't good for the relationship either. But different strokes for different folks.

Quote:I guess it depends. I think it is extremely healthy for you and your significant other to have a girls night or guys night. For example, going out this weekend to Ginnie Springs for a guys trip. Obviously this happens a lot less than before, but it isn't necessary for husband and wife to be joined at the hip for everything and honestly it probably isn't good for the relationship either. But different strokes for different folks.

Agreed. Everybody's different. I play golf every other weekend and my wife has no issues with it. If started to try to push it to every weekend, she might take issue.


She goes out and does her girlie things as well and I'm glad she does. IMHO, you NEED to get out with other people occasionally.

Quote:Agreed. Everybody's different. I play golf every other weekend and my wife has no issues with it. If started to try to push it to every weekend, she might take issue.


She goes out and does her girlie things as well and I'm glad she does. IMHO, you NEED to get out with other people occasionally.

 

I also agree that its good for both the woman and the guy to have their own time apart from the other on occasion...

 

However, theres also probably a difference between what you're doing on your time (playing golf and having a few beers with your buddies) and what the other woman in this thread is presumably doing, i.e. boozing it up with her friends on "girls night out" at the bar/ club, prolly flirting and engaging potential "prospects". 

 


 

 

Quote:I guess it depends. I think it is extremely healthy for you and your significant other to have a girls night or guys night. For example, going out this weekend to Ginnie Springs for a guys trip. Obviously this happens a lot less than before, but it isn't necessary for husband and wife to be joined at the hip for everything and honestly it probably isn't good for the relationship either. But different strokes for different folks.

 

 

Quote:Agreed. Everybody's different. I play golf every other weekend and my wife has no issues with it. If started to try to push it to every weekend, she might take issue.


She goes out and does her girlie things as well and I'm glad she does. IMHO, you NEED to get out with other people occasionally.

 

Just to be clear, I wasn't saying having a guys/girls night every once in a while is bad, but in context of the thread... doing those types of things regularly (more than once a week) is not a good thing.... assuming you care about having a long-lasting marriage.

 

Also, day-time activities like golf or other sports are not the same as going out to socialize. 

 

Quote:Just to be clear, I wasn't saying having a guys/girls night every once in a while is bad, but in context of the thread... doing those types of things regularly (more than once a week) is not a good thing.... assuming you care about having a long-lasting marriage.


Also, day-time activities like golf or other sports are not the same as going out to socialize.

More then once a week certainly is too much. Agreed.

Quote:Just to be clear, I wasn't saying having a guys/girls night every once in a while is bad, but in context of the thread... doing those types of things regularly (more than once a week) is not a good thing.... assuming you care about having a long-lasting marriage.


Also, day-time activities like golf or other sports are not the same as going out to socialize.

Welllll. You didn't define regularly.


So you think six times a week is too much then....


I guess I should scale back.

Quote:I guess it depends. I think it is extremely healthy for you and your significant other to have a girls night or guys night. For example, going out this weekend to Ginnie Springs for a guys trip. Obviously this happens a lot less than before, but it isn't necessary for husband and wife to be joined at the hip for everything and honestly it probably isn't good for the relationship either. But different strokes for different folks.

 

Wholeheartedly agree.

 

Quote:Just to be clear, I wasn't saying having a guys/girls night every once in a while is bad, but in context of the thread... doing those types of things regularly (more than once a week) is not a good thing.... assuming you care about having a long-lasting marriage.

 

Also, day-time activities like golf or other sports are not the same as going out to socialize. 

 

 

As you said, in the context of this thread, where it's 3 (and counting?) late nights in a row out with a new friend -- that would be a little concerning. I would have expected to have met this new friend by night 2 or 3. And by that I mean my SO making an effort to introduce us, not me having to make the effort.

So an update. She went out again on Monday was out for 6-7 hours. Said dinner and a movie. She's going out again tonight. I looked at our text message log and she's exchanged 200-300 text with one number since beginning of month.I can't see what she's texting cause she has her laptop and cell phone locked with unknown pins and PW. Everything I've read suggests its not a good outcome for me however part of me still doesn't believe it. I asked her where she was going specifically bit she is being vague.

Quote:So an update. She went out again on Monday was out for 6-7 hours. Said dinner and a movie. She's going out again tonight. I looked at our text message log and she's exchanged 200-300 text with one number since beginning of month.I can't see what she's texting cause she has her laptop and cell phone locked with unknown pins and PW. Everything I've read suggests its not a good outcome for me however part of me still doesn't believe it. I asked her where she was going specifically bit she is being vague.

 

I'm sorry man, but it doesn't look above board. You need to confront her now before it gets worse.

Quote:So an update. She went out again on Monday was out for 6-7 hours. Said dinner and a movie. She's going out again tonight. I looked at our text message log and she's exchanged 200-300 text with one number since beginning of month.I can't see what she's texting cause she has her laptop and cell phone locked with unknown pins and PW. Everything I've read suggests its not a good outcome for me however part of me still doesn't believe it. I asked her where she was going specifically bit she is being vague.

 

Is this for real?  Those are obvious red flags.

Quote:So an update. She went out again on Monday was out for 6-7 hours. Said dinner and a movie. She's going out again tonight. I looked at our text message log and she's exchanged 200-300 text with one number since beginning of month.I can't see what she's texting cause she has her laptop and cell phone locked with unknown pins and PW. Everything I've read suggests its not a good outcome for me however part of me still doesn't believe it. I asked her where she was going specifically bit she is being vague.

 

Invite yourself along this evening and see what kind of reaction you get. 

 

It's unfortunate, but I think you already know what's going on here. 

Quote:So an update. She went out again on Monday was out for 6-7 hours. Said dinner and a movie. She's going out again tonight. I looked at our text message log and she's exchanged 200-300 text with one number since beginning of month.I can't see what she's texting cause she has her laptop and cell phone locked with unknown pins and PW. Everything I've read suggests its not a good outcome for me however part of me still doesn't believe it. I asked her where she was going specifically bit she is being vague.

Go on your phone bill...the numbers will be on there! Then reverse look up the numbers...or flat out call it from a different number than the numbers you usually use and see who answers.


Has she always had her stuff locked up like that prior to this? If she's suddenly being vague and sneaky, she's either up to something, or working on getting up to something. If this is just really a friend she's hanging out with...there is no need for secrets.


Has she recently started working on her appearance? Doing things like getting new bra's and panties? That's an obvious sign...you don't want to be seen in boring old under clothes when you plan of getting undressed around someone new.

Quote:So an update. She went out again on Monday was out for 6-7 hours. Said dinner and a movie. She's going out again tonight. I looked at our text message log and she's exchanged 200-300 text with one number since beginning of month.I can't see what she's texting cause she has her laptop and cell phone locked with unknown pins and PW. Everything I've read suggests its not a good outcome for me however part of me still doesn't believe it. I asked her where she was going specifically bit she is being vague.

 

I'm sorry man, but the sooner you know the better, not knowing is the worse.

Quote:Go on your phone bill...the numbers will be on there! Then reverse look up the numbers...or flat out call it from a different number than the numbers you usually use and see who answers.


Has she always had her stuff locked up like that prior to this? If she's suddenly being vague and sneaky, she's either up to something, or working on getting up to something. If this is just really a friend she's hanging out with...there is no need for secrets.


Has she recently started working on her appearance? Doing things like getting new bra's and panties? That's an obvious sign...you don't want to be seen in boring old under clothes when you plan of getting undressed around someone new.

 

All of this trying to figure it out is trumped by simply sitting her down and asking what's going on.  Put her on the spot.  See how she reacts.

Quote:All of this trying to figure it out is trumped by simply sitting her down and asking what's going on.  Put her on the spot.  See how she reacts.

Yeah, but sometimes it's easier to believe a lie because you really want to than cold hard facts.

Trying a group reply as I'm on my phone. Bchbunnie she did buy a new bra and panty. She bought a new outfit. I tried to get her to tell me restaurant but now saying not sure the name. She has recently kept it locked for phone and PC.she's been standoffish. But could this really happen in just less than a week? She didn't communicate with said number till end of June. I tried to look up but no info really. I would confront but if nothing is going on that's a good way to make me look like a jerk and not trust her. I need proof. I may follow her on an outing as I think she's covering her bases well.

Quote:Trying a group reply as I'm on my phone. Bchbunnie she did buy a new bra and panty. She bought a new outfit. I tried to get her to tell me restaurant but now saying not sure the name. She has recently kept it locked for phone and PC.she's been standoffish. But could this really happen in just less than a week? She didn't communicate with said number till end of June. I tried to look up but no info really. I would confront but if nothing is going on that's a good way to make me look like a jerk and not trust her. I need proof. I may follow her on an outing as I think she's covering her bases well.

It sounds to me like she's up to something. I've never bought new underwear to go hang out with my girlfriends....ever.