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Full Version: Ode to "Let's talk about"
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Quote:Firefighter with thermal imager:


"Mrs. Bchbunnie, it appears you're showing a hot spot."


-- cue boomchikabowwow music --


"I better get my...hose out."


Cut to sexy times look on the face of the bchbunnie:


"why Mr. Firefighter, aren't you... Hot... With all of those clothes on?"
In the words of The Grateful Dead

 

My room mate

 

He's gone and nothing going to bring him back................

Quote:In the words of The Grateful Dead

 

My room mate

 

He's gone and nothing going to bring him back................
 

I still think theres missing info from Him almost setting the house on fire a few days ago, to today he's leaving because he needs to help his mom or something...
Quote:Firefighter with thermal imager:

 

"Mrs. Bchbunnie, it appears you're showing a hot spot."

 

-- cue boomchikabowwow music --

 

"I better get my...hose out."
 

lol...not bad... Laughing 
Quote:I still think theres missing info from Him almost setting the house on fire a few days ago, to today he's leaving because he needs to help his mom or something...
 

 

I'm just glad he's gone.... stealing food, didn't know how to flush a toilet, Never washed his dishes, room mate from hell
Quote:I'm just glad he's gone.... stealing food, didn't know how to flush a toilet, Never washed his dishes, room mate from hell
 

There was a brawl, wasn't there? I mean you had to have a knock down drag out between almost burning the house down and him allegedly leaving voluntarily to help his mother....

 

 

Why would you even agree to live with this person to begin with?? Sounds like a train wreck. 
Quote:There was a brawl, wasn't there? I mean you had to have a knock down drag out between almost burning the house down and him allegedly leaving voluntarily to help his mother....

 

 

Why would you even agree to live with this person to begin with?? Sounds like a train wreck. 
 

 

No Brawl...... Just I think the landlord gave him an ultimatum about the [BLEEP] he was pulling. And he was only here a month so.......
I've put down the beer during my cooking venture.


Now I'm drinking bourbon out of a mason jar
How in the heck, do I find my wife in Hilliard, fl, and have to TaLK her into a fire!?!?


Ok, so I was unsuccessful in talking her into a fire tonigh. I grilled up din din, gave her alcoholic beverages, can you at least sit in the screen room with tiki torches????? You a recdneck or not???? Guess this philly boy has got more redneck in him than you. Geez.
...child, I don't know nothin' 'bout bein' coo' but it sho do keep the flies off my watermelon.


+1 to whoever gives me the joke to this punch line.
Quote:No Brawl...... Just I think the landlord gave him an ultimatum about the [BAD WORD REMOVED] he was pulling. And he was only here a month so.......
 

He was there only a month and he left the stove on 7 or 8 times?? He had to be on drugs...
Quote:...child, I don't know nothin' 'bout bein' coo' but it sho do keep the flies off my watermelon.


+1 to whoever gives me the joke to this punch line.


A man walking through a small town sees a woman sitting on her porch eating a slice of watermelon. The woman is enjoying her melon while seemingly oblivious to the fact that she is wearing nothing under her dress, and her knees are spread wide...


Close enough?
Quote:He was there only a month and he left the stove on 7 or 8 times?? He had to be on drugs...
Or mentally challenged.


Drifter, is your roommates name Corky?
Quote:A man walking through a small town sees a woman sitting on her porch eating a slice of watermelon. The woman is enjoying her melon while seemingly oblivious to the fact that she is wearing nothing under her dress, and her knees are spread wide...

Close enough?
Close enough!!!


I won't dare say how my version goes. But, you've evidently heard a version of it. You got the +1!
Quote:A man walking through a small town sees a woman sitting on her porch eating a slice of watermelon. The woman is enjoying her melon while seemingly oblivious to the fact that she is wearing nothing under her dress, and her knees are spread wide...


Close enough?
 

oh [BLEEP]!!! Laughing Laughing 
Ok, nice one HB!


Next one.


+1 to whoever gives the the joke to the punch line...


"Because their knee grows."
Quote:oh [BAD WORD REMOVED]!!! Laughing Laughing
He was very good in his delivery. I'm not sure if it is the version he has heard or he was just being cool on this MB, but the actual joke is hilarious, and NOT racist! Although the delivery I've heard makes it sound otherwise,


Yes. I've told African Americans this joke, along with the one with the other punch line that I've yet to hear the delivery for.

The second one is actually kinda cute.
So... I'm sitting in my screen room with a frosty mug o' beer, tiki torches lit, and rock playing on my wireless speakers and reading what you degenerates ( mind, you I'm a peer, so I guess I'm a degenerate too, prolly am) say, and all I can smell is my ortho weed be gone concentrate!!! I used it full strength, no watering down in this joint! Almost smells like a pool, almost smells like I'm about to pass out. At least my lawn will look good right?
Quote:So... I'm sitting in my screen room with a frosty mug o' beer, tiki torches lit, and rock playing on my wireless speakers and reading what you degenerates ( mind, you I'm a peer, so I guess I'm a degenerate too, prolly am) say, and all I can smell is my ortho weed be gone concentrate!!! I used it full strength, no watering down in this joint! Almost smells like a pool, almost smells like I'm about to pass out. At least my lawn will look good right?
 

And you wonder why the wife won't sit out there.  Someone has to be conscious to call 911.  
Quote:And you wonder why the wife won't sit out there. Someone has to be conscious to call 911.
Good point. Let's hope the paramedics aren't afraid of awesome weekend activities. If they are, I'm doomed.


Edit: you don't know the delivery to my other joke?
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